Day 24: Patong, Karon, Kata… Kata Noi 🏝️

Unsurprisingly, Phuket is famous for its beaches. We are staying on Kata Noi beach, the one to the right on the above photograph. It is billed as the quietest and most private beach in the area, which very much suited our wants. I think it’s fair to say, reading all reviews, that, on a sliding scale, moving on up the coast northwards, each bay/beach steps up in business and partyness (new word) the further you go.

To satisfy our curiosity we decided that today we would grab a taxi, travel up to Patong Beach, explore, move down to Karon Beach, explore, move down to Kata Beach, and back home.

I asked the taxi driver if he thought we should visit Patong. He laughed, said it was daytime, so we would be ok. He then pulled at my arm and said, night time, ladies will bother you. Enough said! One review cuts straight to it, describing Patong as ‘sleazy’. Deciding we would be ‘safe’, we made for Patong.

Formerly, Patong was just a small fishing village filled with traditional Thai houses and huts.

Backpackers first discovered Patong in the 60s and 70s, but it wasn’t until a decade later that the government decided to transform Patong into a tourist destination. Patong became a massive hit among Europeans, and especially Scandinavians. Phuket became so popular among the Swedes that for a while Phuket was referred to as “Little Sweden.”

I have found that one particular travel blog, Nerd Nomads, provides sensible advice, along with useful information. It says this of Patong:

It seems that almost anything can be bought for the right price in Patong. And while it is not for everyone, Patong has a certain honesty about it. It does not try to hide its sleazy side. It is all out there in the open, and you can either join in and party from dusk till dawn or avoid this side of Patong Beach altogether.

Walking up Bangla Street in the middle of the day we could see why Nerd Nomads would draw this conclusion. And, yes, it doesn’t hide itself under a bushel!

Each establishment has several bars and is a good 40m deep.

There is a lot of this on offer…

There is the obligatory Hard Rock Cafe (we even came across one in Siem Reap, Cambodia), with a twist…

There is provision for shoppers in Patong.

I even got talking to a very friendly Mancunian who has lived here for 17 years (he mistook me for a Geordie but I forgave him). He tried to convince me that I should be investing in property over here, like him, because it’s a good time to do so. I don’t exactly cut the shape of a high-roller so I don’t know what he was thinking. Nice chap though.

We came across this…

And then… Well, let it/he/she introduce its/him/her self.

You may remember its colleague in Bangkok Airport (Day 3: Bangkok to Phnom Penh, Cambodia)? How bizarre!

After the, at times, eye-popping action of Patong (remember the sliding scale), moving on down through Karon and Kata was quite pedestrian. Nice beaches, eateries, food markets, tat-shops… being told you need a suit. Nothing extraordinary to report.

Oh, the suit thing. You would be amazed by the number of ‘tailors’ offering to measure you up for a bespoke suit. You can have anything from red to violet. All the colours of the rainbow, indeed. They pop up everywhere. You hear their voice first. Hello sir, where are you from? I make a suit for you? No disrespect but I’m on holiday (I’m a traveller, man ✌🏻), I haven’t got time for this. Besides, if I want a suit I head for Saville Row. Oops, I forgot, I am not a high-roller. I really am not. Honest! The final straw was when one likely looking lad, gave up on me and offered to measure my wife up for a night dress. I stopped in my tracks. My wife dragged me onwards. No kidding.

There is one thing to report on of note. As we wended our way somewhere between Karon and Kata, fancying a break, we came across Grifterz.

Japan is very much on our ever refreshing travel horizon. If this is anything to go by, it might just rise to the top. We love something a bit different, new takes on ordinary experiences such as simply enjoying a coffee and/or a cup of tea. So, get this…